I’m a junior in college and I have several girls at school that I am casually dating. we all know that each other is playing the field, and everything is cool. my question is about valentine’s day. should I get them all something small? and what about going out that day? do I just have to pick one (it’s a small school so everyone knows everything) or should I just avoid them all til the day is over? Help!

I love and hate Valentine’s day. The day has a lot of pluses: It’s good for a lot of businesses. Restaurants, bars, and even clubs can make a lot of money that day, and it’s a nice mellow crowd where everyone is usually on their best behavior. It also gives everyone an excuse to dress nice and look good, and to be honest, it helps a lot of people get laid that night.

But there are plenty of downsides to the Valentine’s day: Many singles take it as a slap in the face to their current situation. It’s a huge landmine for guys in relationships to trip over and blow themselves up if they appear neglectful. It’s also a huge pass for girls to eat a bunch of fattening chocolates only to feel guilty and depressed about it in the weeks after.

However, Valentine’s day is really about defining relationships. If a couple is falling out of love, their Valentine’s day efforts are often a strong indication. New couples get a chance to assess where they are and where their relationship is going. And guys in your situations are forced to somewhat define things with your casual girls.

My advice is to get them all a little something. Maybe one of those small box of chocolates that only has 7 pieces in it. (as a bonus, they are less likely to get fat!) Meet up with each, even if only for a minute, and tell them you’re super busy with non-Valentine’s day stuff like school or work, but you wanted to give them something to let them know you were thinking about them. Then I’d spend the night doing something else. It’s fine to go out drinking with the guys, and if any of the girls ask, just explain that one of your buddies was feeling really down about his ex-girlfriend and you wanted to be a good friend and support him in his efforts to get shit-house drunk and hang out in a strip club. But you know, consider holding back on facebooking those pictures of you dancing topless on a table with two strippers, as it might hurt your case a little. Good luck!

I definitely think you should get them all something, and make sure they all get the same exact thing. It could be very dangerous if Sally got the flowers, while the other two a box of chocolates that they’re going to feel bad for eating, and some shitty card. Shit. Could hit. The fan.

Whatever you do, do NOT just pick one girl. If you’re going to mess around with several different chicks, you need to treat them as if they’re all on the same level. You’re not Hugh fucking Hefner. You don’t get a number one, two and three. They are ALL your number one, if you want to keep them all around. You are either going to have to choose to set aside time for each one of them that day, or avoid them all-together. I would advise against avoiding them, though. Girls are suckers for Valentines Day. The ones that say they aren’t are the ones who end up masturbating alone in their dim-lit room, eating Jack in the Box and watching “Friends” re-runs every February 14th.

Do you think these ladies are all planning on getting you something? The thought has probably crossed their mind, just sayin’. I would strongly advise you to try and make time during the day for all of them. Hand job for breakfast, blowie for lunch, lingerie strip-down for dinner.